Anchoring Bias: The Bullshit That Keeps You Stuck

Ever notice how people cling to their first opinion like a lifeboat in the Titanic? Even when the evidence slaps them in the face, they refuse to let go. That’s anchoring bias, baby. It’s the mental shortcut where we grab onto the first piece of information we see—whether it’s a price tag, a political take, or some bad advice from an old baseball coach—and we let it run our lives like a shitty GPS.

It’s why your uncle still thinks his high school football team was elite when they went 3-7. It’s why your buddy can’t quit his dead-end job because “that’s just how things are.” It’s why you, yes you, keep making the same dumbass mistakes and defending them like a lawyer who knows his client is guilty.

You think you’re objective. You think you see things clearly. You don’t.

Your Brain is a Lazy Bastard

Here’s the deal: your brain doesn’t give a shit about the truth. It just wants to make sense of the world as fast as possible with minimal effort. So when it comes across something new, it locks onto the first thing that feels right and builds a mental fortress around it. This is how neural pathways work—they’re like well-worn trails in the woods. The more you walk them, the deeper they get, and the harder it is to take a new route.

And guess what? Your brain hates taking new routes. It’s why you resist change, why you struggle to see another perspective, why you suck at admitting you’re wrong. Because forging a new path takes work, and work is uncomfortable.

We Don’t See Things as They Are—We See Them as We Are

This is where it gets frustrating. You think you’re looking at the world objectively, but you’re not. You’re looking at it through your own personal shitstorm—your experiences, your trauma, your beliefs, your insecurities. Your view is tinted by whatever you’ve been through, and half the time, it’s lying to you.

Take baseball. Two guys go 0-for-4. One of them shrugs it off, makes an adjustment, and comes back tomorrow ready to rake. The other one spirals, thinks he’s a bum, calls his dad, starts questioning if he even likes baseball anymore. Same outcome, different reaction. Not because reality is different, but because they are different.

Or addiction recovery. One guy relapses, owns up to it, and gets back on track. Another guy relapses, hates himself for it, and decides he’s beyond saving. Again—same event, different perception. Not because one is doomed and the other isn’t, but because one sees failure as a step, while the other sees it as the end.

And don’t even get me started on relationships. You ever fight with your spouse and later realize the whole thing wasn’t even about them? It was about your mood, your baggage, your day going to shit? They could’ve said anything and you still would’ve found a way to be pissed off. Because it was never about them—it was about you.

You don’t see the world. You see your version of it. And your version is filtered through all the nonsense you haven’t dealt with yet.

Your Brain Takes the Shortest Route—Even If It’s the Wrong One

Your brain is like a GPS that always picks the shittiest route just because it’s the one it knows.

Imagine you and your spouse get into an argument. Maybe they said something in a tone you didn’t like. Your brain, being the lazy bastard that it is, immediately pulls from past experiences—they’re always like this, they never listen, here we go again. Instead of actually hearing what they’re saying, you react based on your first impression. And just like that, you’re both locked in a stupid, pointless fight neither of you wanted.

Your brain didn’t stop to consider, maybe they’re stressed, maybe I misunderstood, maybe this has nothing to do with me. No, it took the shortcut. The fastest path to making sense of the situation. And now your night is ruined over something that could have been solved in five minutes.

Social Media Is Making It Worse

As if we weren’t already dumb enough, social media is here to really fuck with us. Every post, every tweet, every highlight reel is just reinforcing whatever you already believe. You think success is hard? Boom—here’s some 19-year-old kid bragging about making six figures drop-shipping while you’re over here just trying to figure out why your Wi-Fi won’t connect. You think relationships are just fairy-tales? Boom—here’s some influencer couple posting a staged photo, captioned “#RelationshipGoals” when, in reality, they’re two seconds away from throwing a blender at each other’s heads.

It’s all bullshit. We’re anchoring our self-worth, our dreams, our entire damn lives to a fake-ass reality curated by people who don’t even live like that. You ever see someone post a picture of their breakdown? Their failures? Their insecurities? Of course not. But that’s the stuff that actually makes up life.

You don’t see reality on social media. You see a highlight reel. And if you don’t question it, you’ll spend your whole life comparing yourself to something that doesn’t even exist.

 

The Ugly Truth: You’re Probably Wrong—And That’s Okay

Let’s face it: If you want to break free from the chains of your own delusions, there’s one crucial thing you need to accept first: You don’t have all the answers. In fact, the things you “know” may be so off-base it’s embarrassing. This realization isn’t easy—it means looking at everything you thought you understood and admitting that some of it might just be completely wrong.

It’s uncomfortable, and it shakes the foundation of who you think you are. But here's the thing: This is where real growth starts. So, before you get defensive, consider this—what if you’ve been living your life based on false assumptions?

• Maybe your folks weren't always right: You looked up to them, trusted them, followed their advice without question. But what if, just maybe, some of their views were more about their life experience than universal truths? Could you have missed a better approach to something simply because you never questioned what you were taught?

• Maybe that coach from 1997 didn’t know what the hell he was talking about: He was a legend in your eyes, but what if that training method he pushed on you was outdated, inefficient, or simply didn’t suit you? Not every authority figure gets it right, and not every piece of advice is the golden ticket.

• Maybe your political beliefs aren’t as rock-solid as you think: If you’re just echoing what you've heard from your social circle or sticking with the same party out of habit, it’s time to ask yourself: Is your stance based on facts and critical thinking, or is it rooted in the comfort of familiarity? What you consume—news, opinions, and even the people around you—shapes your perspective more than you might realize. Political ideologies can often blind us to the nuances and truths that exist in the middle. Challenge yourself to step back, question the narratives you're consuming, and see if they stand up to scrutiny. Only then can you form a belief grounded in your own understanding, not just what's easy or familiar.

• Maybe your current training routine sucks, and that’s why you’re still plateauing: If your workouts have been stagnant, if you're doing the same thing every week with no real progress, it might be time to get real. You’re not improving because you’re not challenging yourself. You’re going through the motions, but you’re not evolving.

• Maybe your relationship is failing because you keep running the same toxic patterns: You’ve been in the same fights, having the same conversations, repeating the same mistakes. You think it's all the other person’s fault, but what if you are contributing to the cycle? Maybe it’s time to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your part.

• Maybe your excuses are just laziness in disguise: "I'm too busy," "I’ll start tomorrow," "It's too hard"—those are all easy ways to avoid doing the work. The real truth is, you're choosing comfort and procrastination over progress. If you don’t have time to level up, it’s because you’re choosing to spend it elsewhere.

• Maybe your job isn’t the problem—you are: You’ve blamed your boss, your coworkers, the company policies, but what if the problem is you? What if you’ve been coasting, doing the bare minimum, and expecting things to just magically improve without putting in real effort?

• Maybe you’re stuck in a comfort zone because you’re afraid of failing: It’s easy to sit back and convince yourself that you’re content. But are you really thriving, or are you just too scared to push yourself beyond what's familiar? Growth happens in discomfort, and if you're not failing, you're probably not taking enough risks.

• Maybe your financial problems aren't about bad luck, but poor choices: If you're always broke, always in debt, always struggling, it might not be bad luck. It could be your lack of discipline, your inability to save, or your refusal to take responsibility for your financial health. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can make the changes needed to break free.

Let’s be real—admitting that you might be wrong in any of these areas is painful. It shakes your sense of stability and makes you question everything you thought you knew. But guess what? That’s exactly where change begins.

It’s in the uncomfortable moment of realizing that you’ve been wrong, and in the humility of accepting that maybe, just maybe, you have a lot to learn. When you let go of your ego and challenge the assumptions you’ve held onto for years, you open the door to real transformation. So stop making excuses, stop living in denial, and start questioning everything. You’re not perfect, and that’s okay—it’s how you grow.

Core Values: Your Lifeline to Reality

This is where core values separate the lost from the found. If you have them—real ones, not just the ones on your LinkedIn profile—then you have something to anchor to instead of old biases. Core values are the compass that keep you from drifting into the abyss of your own stubbornness.

But if you don’t have them? If you’re just winging it, bouncing from one belief to another based on what’s convenient? Then you’re easy to manipulate. You’ll believe whatever came first. You’ll be stuck in the same cycles. You’ll never grow.

Living by your core values means making hard choices. It means being open to being wrong. It means burning old beliefs to the ground when they no longer serve you. Most people don’t do that. Most people would rather stay comfortable.
 

You’ve Already Decided Who I Am—An Exercise

Most of you already know me. Or at least, you think you do. You’ve got your version of me stored away—built on whatever rumor, experience, or half-story you latched onto. Maybe you knew me when I was deep in my own bullshit, making decisions fueled by addiction, pain, and whatever trauma I hadn’t dealt with yet. Maybe you saw me at my worst—when I burned bridges, let people down, or made a choice I wish I could take back.

Or maybe you only know me from the good—coaching kids, helping people get their shit together, showing up for people who had no one else. But let’s be honest, that’s never the story that sticks, is it? I could help 500 kids find their way, pull people out of addiction, give my time, my money, my energy to people who need it—and I have—but all it takes is onemistake, one bad day, one person who didn’t like how I handled something, and that becomes the headline.

And you know what? That’s fine. I get it. We all do it. It’s easier to reduce people to a single moment, to anchor to whatever fits our narrative. It saves your brain the effort of seeing the full picture.

We do this in every part of life. We assume people are who they were, not who they are. The addict will always be an addict. The screw-up will always be a screw-up. The guy who pissed you off once? Must still be an asshole. It’s lazy thinking, but it feels right because we don’t like being wrong.

But people evolve. I evolved. Maybe you have, too. And if we don’t allow ourselves to see that, to question our own biases, we stay stuck—trapped in the past, refusing to see things as they are because we’re too comfortable with how we think they should be.

So if you’re reading this, thinking you’ve got me figured out, laughing off the good and holding onto the bad, just know this—there’s a damn good chance you’re wrong. And if you can be wrong about me, who else might you be wrong about?

I want you to take a moment to examine how you form judgments about people and why it’s so easy to reduce someone to just a snapshot of their life. Reflect on the idea that people evolve and change—and so do you. It’s easy to hold on to old versions of people, but how does that shape the way you see the world?
 

Mental Exercise: Challenging Your Assumptions

1. Find a quiet space and close your eyes.
   Take a few deep breaths to center yourself. Now, think of someone you’ve made a quick judgment about. This person could be someone you’ve met recently or someone from your past.

2. Picture that person’s full life.
   Imagine all the things they’ve been through—the struggles, the triumphs, the choices they’ve made. Try to picture them as a whole person, not just the snapshot you’ve been holding on to.

3. Shift your mindset.
   Imagine you’ve just learned something new about them—a detail that challenges your judgment. Maybe they’ve made changes you didn’t know about. Maybe they’ve been working through something difficult. How does this new information change how you view them?

4. Visualize letting go of the past story.
   Picture yourself releasing the old judgment or assumption. What happens when you choose to see this person with fresh eyes, free from the past narrative? How does your perception shift?

5. Reflect:
   After a few minutes, open your eyes. What did you learn from this mental exercise? How can you carry this practice of questioning assumptions into your everyday interactions?

The Power of Awareness & The Path to Calm

if you can work on this daily, it will change your life. Not just in how you think, but in how you feel.

You’ll be calmer. More grounded. Less reactive. You won’t be a slave to every fleeting emotion, every moment of frustration, every dumb argument that used to ruin your day. You’ll start seeing things for what they are instead of what your brain wants them to be.

Spirituality, in its purest form, is about presence. It’s about seeing reality as it is, not as you think it should be. When you stop letting old biases dictate your reactions, you free yourself. You stop feeling so out of control. You stop fighting battles that aren’t worth fighting.

So start now. Start today. When you catch yourself jumping to conclusions, pause. Challenge your first reaction. Ask yourself: is this true, or is this just what I’ve always believed?

Because if you don’t ask that question, you’re just another person running in circles, convinced you’re moving forward.

Question everything.... ESPECIALLY YOURSELF!!

Your peace depends on it.